(Transcript) Ep 12: Free to Run

NOOR INTRO: 3…2…1…Welcome back to Rep. And more specifically – welcome to a guided Rep Run. This is a story about what it means to stay in your body, to move through your life experiences and for the women in this episode, what it really means to be free. 

Before we hit the pavement. This chapter of Rep is brought to you by Right To Run, the social impact program of the brand On Running. Right to Run supports FREE to Run, an organization that works to change gender norms in conflict areas by supporting girls and women in leadership and wellness through running. 

And our guides for this story are three women from Afghanistan….

NOOR VO: It’s been two years since the women in this story have seen each other. Their separation was unexpected and they have miraculously reunited in the United States to run the New York City Marathon together. 

 (FATIMA) Do you remember the last time we saw each other? 

**NEWS CLIPS MONTAGE SCENE OF AFGHANISTAN TALIBAN TAKEOVER* 

“The Taliban is in control including in the capital kabul”

“The Taliban has ordered an indefinite ban on university education for women.” 

“Afghans are thronging to kabuls airport, getting on planes desperate to leave the country”

: (HASINA) That day, I went inside the airport and the explosion ha ppened. 

(FATIMA) Oh my gosh, you were there? 

(HASINA) Yes, I was inside of the airport when it happened actually. 4:49: It was not good. I had one backpack, but I brought my all running stuff. 

(FATIMA) 5:09: It’s crazy we left everything behind. 

Running once united us in Afghanistan and is again uniting us here in the US.  

FATIMA: My name is Fatima Saadat and I'm from Afghanistan.

HASINA: My name is Hasina Hussain Zada and I am from Afghanistan.

ZAHRA:

I am Zara Hakimi coming from a really challenging society where women do not have the right to talk, do not have the right to have education and do not have the right to do sports.

I'm coming from that society. Being able to talk with you guys in English is such a beautiful gift for me. And I don't want to waste it with any other thing. I just want to talk truly and honestly about anything that's happening out there in the other side of the world, in a small place called Afghanistan and share it with people who don't know what is happening. 

NOOR VO: Okay. Zahra, TAKE US ON YOUR FIRST RUN. 

ZAHRA: I was 14 years old, and my dad encouraged me to run with him early in the morning. I didn't have a lot of sports gear, so I was wearing my skirt and my scarf and running by my father's side. It was crazy because I was seeing a lot of people, and I was scared of their judgment because I was wearing a skirt and also being a woman running on the streets early in the morning is not really common in my country. 

But my dad helped me and encouraged me and stood by my side, helped me to get over those judgments and let nobody to stand on my way to growth.

ZAHRA He was always mentioning that it's okay.

It's okay if other people do not accept you. If you want this, if your heart wants this, and you will never ever hurt anybody, that's totally fine, and you've got to have that courage to go through that phase of seeing other people judging you and not liking you and just move forward. 

*breather*

NOOR VO: And Hasina, what did it feel like, for you –– to be in your body –– on that first run? 

HASINA: : So I didn't have any training actually. It was very hard for me to like explain how I had like feel and what was like pain that I had in my body. I have lots of like soaring, like I had like all pain and all pull my body and I was like, why do this? Like why? Why we like run? But then when we talk to each other, like my friend, we just say that, oh, that's okay, it's fine. Like we are running and we are talking. And then when we start talk and share like more things, like stories, then I forgot my pain and everything.

NOOR VO: So the stories you shared helped you deal with the pain?

HASINA : 

It's kind of like I'm feeding my soul and my heart. Like, yeah, I have pains in my body, but when I'm finishing that traveling, that run or that challenging myself, then I feel like I'm full of happiness, full of energy within my heart and my soul. So kind of like I'm feeding them. I am giving them food to be happy.

NOOR VO: To run in Afghanistan, as a woman, means challenges will be inevitable. Fatima knows this well. 

FATIMA : I remember one time when i was pushed down um by my by some random man some random stranger and um the only thought okay the innocent thought that i had was to get up and say something back to fight back and maybe say some bad words but i thought to myself that i am imitating them i'm becoming them by uh choosing this path of fight instead of that i can just get up shake the dust and then just continue running that would be a stronger move for me so that was my decision onward that instead of fighting and saying bad words and becoming them i can create my own path i can just continue and show with my action that this is what i chose to become this is what i am and you are going to accept me after this.

ZAHRA : So That's how I know what real love is, where you sacrifice even your safety, but you got to experience it and then learn it and then be like, "I'm going to be with you for the rest of my life." The way that you experience things, for instance, sports, is way different than any other experiences you do have.

ZAHRA : 

I've never had the balance in my life just because I was going through a lot of phases, trauma, pain, depression, just because of moving out of my country, coming to another different country by myself, trying new things, finding ways to get education, finding new ways to do sports.

I never had the balance from life, but I learned the balance through snowboarding and running because even when you run, you got to find that balance between your heart and mind where you run and you go through different phases and you learn how to keep them in one track so that you don't fail or you want to keep going and finish the line.

HASINA : 

One of the things that I really wanted to run it was, like traveling with my legs, with my feet, with my own feet,  going everywhere, like challenging all my body to reach to the finish line. 

NOOR VO: Tell me about the run, and the finish line, that changed… EVERYTHING. 

FATIMA : that was 2018 that um around june or july that i joined Free to Run and then right in the first or second month Free to Run set a goal for us and say that by december you are going to be able to run a marathon which is going to be in one of the most beautiful cities which i'm originally from it's called Bamyan marathon and i love Bamyan so i remember the whole team were just so excited and wanted to like uh we want to go to Bamyan and for me imagining to go with this group of fun people to Bamyan and run that was like so so encouraging so inspiring 

NOOR VO: Bamyan is a special place. Its history is both Buddhist and Islamic. The mountains are dotted with caves and at one point at the end of 10th century, several thousand Buddhist monks lived in those caves. It’s even reported to be home to the world’s oldest oil paintings and the landscape of Bamyan itself feels like a scene out of a dreamy painting. 

Actually, Hasina, can you take us there?  

HASINA: : 

So the picture is like mountains and a beautiful lake with blue water. Like blue color and a big trail full of, like, dust. But really beautiful. No grass, but with a high, like, elevation. And gray color.

, it's a mixed color of everything. And in one side you can see like mountains and water, and the other side you can see like all the deserts and no grass. 

ZAHRA: : It doesn't have a lot of trees or a lot of greens on it but the history of it is pretty.

ZAHRA: How people were always being safe in that spot and being proud of who they are, being shepherds and helping other people going through all those mountains

NOOR VO: What does the air feel like?

HASINA: Fresh and cold. 

HASINA: Refreshing, but kind of like, feel like I'm looking at any more lungs because it's cold. 

ZAHRA: You see different people who are encouraging you and cheering for you and also people who are judging. And you find yourself being that point of making the balance between both being judged and then got a lot of cheering from other people.

I see myself there and I see my breath and the phase that I'm going is high and low and high and low. And you keep going even it is tough. It is really hard to do it by yourself and seeing other people who they're watching you and see every step you're taking. you don't know what they're thinking or what they're feeling. And you might even make other people uncomfortable the way you are in such a specific society. But again, you think the big reason you're running for and that is for people for encouraging other people for motivating other women. So there is a lot of self doubt and there is a lot of reasons that you balance your self doubt and whatever society says.

FATIMA :

so Bamyan marathon is the um run that changed my life i felt like i got all my answers nobody gave me any direct answers i think we were running it by like six hours or so uh with the girls by the end of the run once i had that um medal on my um neck i think i knew why i i did it um and it was a whole journey of self-discovery like i was given something that i was missing for so many years.

FATIMA: : I was questioning that why am i doing this? i ran it with the girls and um at the end when we were sitting and eating food and celebrating the marathon i got my answer that i did it because of friendship that i built with the sisterhood that i built um teamwork i learned a lot and then

 i learned a lot about myself uh which was i'm capable of doing so many things if i set my mind to um and if you set your mind to your body is going to help you a lot so you are never going to believe what your body is capable of until you do something. 

NOOR VO:  The act of “doing something” is a form of medicine for these Afghan Women. 

ZAHRA: Being an Afghan woman is not really easy. I think nowhere in the world being a woman is easy. It's tough. You have to make sacrifices.

. And then you've got to have that running spirit or that encouraging spirit that keeps you going because there are times that you fell down, like you're in the darkness and you don't know where to go. Nobody else is going to pull you out of that darkness because nobody will see that. Being an Afghan woman is to not show it in your face, that you're going through a lot of things and you still keep going.

It's not easy because nobody else is perfect and you cannot take care of everybody. But caring about where you want to help, when you want to help, is what being an Afghan woman is.

NOOR VO: It feels like a rare privilege for us to get to listen to the firsthand stories and unfiltered thoughts of these Women. How often do we hear about how the world looks from their perspective, because so often others are speaking for them? Zahra tells me about her frustrations with the tropes of western media and its representations of her and her people. 

The biases that slyly motivate the media tropes, the real world impacts of misrepresentation, these are the dynamics that motivated this show, REP (www.ays.media/rep) –– it’s something we know a lot about. And it’s something that together she and I and you are changing, right now, in this moment. 

It is Zahra’s spirit of defiance, her persistence, and her individuality that make me want to learn all that I can from her experiences of what it means to be FREE. 

But not just her, also from Hasina, and from Fatima. In fact, Fatima says…

FATIMA : 

, The idea of freedom for an Afghan girl like me is to be able to move my body according to my choices.

 freedom for me through running right now is claiming back back what i was missing for example running on the streets um like the very basic right of just moving your body so freedom for me just claiming back what I was supposed to be given when i was born.  

NOOR VO: Zahra is the youngest of the three women. She runs as if the weight of the world is piled atop her shoulders. Yet, she never lets that weight stop her, or even slow her down.. this was not the path Zahra first set out to pursue.  She had no intention of ever leaving her family and friends behind in Afghanistan. 

Zahra was born in 2003, two years after the last Taliban rule, which means Zahra is young enough that she’d never lived under their oppression. Until recently. 

When the Taliban re-took Afghanistan in 2021 – Zahra’s father, the one who got her into running, had to make the painstaking decision to send his daughter away in order to protect her freedom. Her father labored to get Zahra on the first flight he could that would take his daughter out of the country. It all happened so fast that they never had the chance of a proper hug goodbye. 

At 18, Zahra left home for the United States. Now, today, not a moment passes where her family and friends are not ever-present in her mind and in her heart. 

She says she runs for them, because she ran with them. 

ZAHRA : 

It is rare. And having that opportunity of getting education, doing some sports, having a lot of friends or making a lot of friends, building trust within your community, it is rare for a girl like me coming from another country.

But you're not supposed to be selfish about that. You have a lot of opportunities compared to your peers back in home but you find a lot of other reasons to do good for them.

NOOR  Are you talking about yourself right now? Are you talking about how you think about the other Afghan women and the Afghan girls back home? 

ZAHRA:  Yeah, it is depressing seeing your friends, like your childhood friends, they don't have the opportunity you have right now. And I'm sorry, I'm just emotional. It's okay. 

NOOR: Take your time.

NOOR:

 And you can talk to them. You can tell them what you want to tell them.

ZAHRA

(speaking Dari)

ZAHRA IN ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF ABOVE:

So one thing that I want all the women who are struggling a lot to represent themselves or to express themselves through different activities, whether it's dancing or drawing or photo shooting or talking with a friend, do not be afraid of expressing yourself truly and honestly. I know it's going to hurt a lot of people because they're going to judge you anyway, maybe a close member of your friend, but you can communicate with them. All of those tough communications is worth it to be yourself and to not be afraid of sharing your opinions, beliefs, beauty with the world.

ZAHRA: I remember the time that I gathered all my friends together. I didn't know anything about running. I only knew that you can just jog or having your breath to go high and low. I didn't know anything about it. But I gathered all of my friends and classmates. And I was like, we can go early in the morning and tell people that we're capable of running on the streets. 

I was calling them and I was telling them, We're going to go and tell people that we can do this or we can be different and we're going to accept that. And then because it's because of a big reason, big change in the society, I remember them. And I am here having this big dream of helping them. And I want to tell them right now that I'm running for them. I'm running for every single friend of mine who's back in my country and they don't have that opportunity. Their voice is not being heard and I want to be their voice.

Because I know my voice is going to be here, even for a small group of people. That's good. That's fine. And I want to share their voices, their ideas to people. And I want to be that bridge who can make the connection between two.

One woman from a country that has everything and another woman who doesn't have that opportunity and share what they're both feeling about each other. And correcting those misunderstandings that media makes about women in Afghanistan, women in Palestine, women in Yemen, women in Ukraine or anybody else.

NOOR VO: Zahra, Hasina, and Fatima are reuniting for the first time in two years to run the New York City marathon. It is a dream for all three of them. Literally.

HASINA:  So actually like, I had a dream in my dreams, New York City Marathon.

I want to run the New York City Marathon, but I felt like it's impossible for me. Just kind of like the traveling and the visa things and everything. So for me, I felt like it's impossible thing. And maybe I can't run New York City Marathon, big marathons, always my dreams to do that. And New York is one of those dreams. So I'm here now.

NOOR - What does it mean to you that you're going to be running the New York City Marathon with your friends?

HASINA - It means a lot actually. I haven't seen them since two years and we have lots of things to share with each other. So we are waiting for that.

NOOR - You're waiting for the marathon so that you guys can talk with each other?

HASINA: (laughs) sharing stories, but yeah, I really want experience that marathon a lot.

NOOR - You know, because I feel like you're so connected to your heart. Instead of asking the last question, I just want to hear what your heart has to say right now.

HASINA - My heart is telling me, like, “you wanna run?”

(both laughing) It's like, like you have like a marathon, like in a few days. So, oh yeah, I wanna run.

(NOOR OUTRO)

CREDITS

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